breaks
It is said that when Mercury is in retrograde, communication problems occur. I tend to believe that because sometimes I've found that it's true.
This evening, C and I racked up what seemed to be the 103rd argument/misunderstanding in the last 3 days. It's gotten to the point where it's been quite easy for him to piss me off and it's impossible not to offend him.
Then he asked me to call him, and I did, and I don't know why he got it in his head that I was trying to call him yesterday. I've stopped calling him ever since he said it's awkward and he hates it. So there we were, talking on the phone, with some noisy roommates in the background.
Some of them were teasing him and making kissy sounds. That's about the worst thing they can do because it gives C what I call emotion-fright. He finds discomfort to talk on the phone with me when people are around.
I ask him how he is, he tells me he's been assigned as a lead nurse again and I have him the standard encouragements. Right when I said, "You can do it", I hear him talking to some people in the background and laughing, teasing, whatever. I put down the phone because that was just disrespectful. He can say, "Wait, excuse me, I need to talk to some people" instead of leaving me hanging there, talking to air. The stupid girlfriend on the phone.
If I wanted to listen to him just talking to his friends, I would've just hooked up a bug to his collar.
Shortly after I ended the phone call, he sent me a stiff "Enjoy your party" and I gave up.
It frustrates me that we've been having these inane arguments.
It frustrates me that he's so thoughtless and I'm so irritable.
It frustrates me that he can't be honest with the feelings that matter, but he has no problems whatsoever telling me about his unfaithful thoughts and actions.
And it frustrates me most of all that we can't admit that we've become so bitter. In a matter of days!
Just now, I erased his number from my phone so I won't get tempted to contact him prematurely in the coming days. "Speak only when you are spoken to."
I told him that we're going on hiatus, a friendly one, where we'll just take things easy and get some perspective on things. We'll ease off the pressures of having to talk (awkwardly) to each other every day. There will be no hard feelings, I said, if I don't text in the coming days.
It's not meant to be an evil kind of break. I mean it as a way to shed off that part of us that's been sucking out all our happiness.
C hasn't replied yet, and I don't know if he'll agree or if he'll just take this all as a sign that we're on our way to ex-coupledom. But I hope he figures out that it's a way to see if we miss each other in absence.
This evening, C and I racked up what seemed to be the 103rd argument/misunderstanding in the last 3 days. It's gotten to the point where it's been quite easy for him to piss me off and it's impossible not to offend him.
Then he asked me to call him, and I did, and I don't know why he got it in his head that I was trying to call him yesterday. I've stopped calling him ever since he said it's awkward and he hates it. So there we were, talking on the phone, with some noisy roommates in the background.
Some of them were teasing him and making kissy sounds. That's about the worst thing they can do because it gives C what I call emotion-fright. He finds discomfort to talk on the phone with me when people are around.
I ask him how he is, he tells me he's been assigned as a lead nurse again and I have him the standard encouragements. Right when I said, "You can do it", I hear him talking to some people in the background and laughing, teasing, whatever. I put down the phone because that was just disrespectful. He can say, "Wait, excuse me, I need to talk to some people" instead of leaving me hanging there, talking to air. The stupid girlfriend on the phone.
If I wanted to listen to him just talking to his friends, I would've just hooked up a bug to his collar.
Shortly after I ended the phone call, he sent me a stiff "Enjoy your party" and I gave up.
It frustrates me that we've been having these inane arguments.
It frustrates me that he's so thoughtless and I'm so irritable.
It frustrates me that he can't be honest with the feelings that matter, but he has no problems whatsoever telling me about his unfaithful thoughts and actions.
And it frustrates me most of all that we can't admit that we've become so bitter. In a matter of days!
Just now, I erased his number from my phone so I won't get tempted to contact him prematurely in the coming days. "Speak only when you are spoken to."
I told him that we're going on hiatus, a friendly one, where we'll just take things easy and get some perspective on things. We'll ease off the pressures of having to talk (awkwardly) to each other every day. There will be no hard feelings, I said, if I don't text in the coming days.
It's not meant to be an evil kind of break. I mean it as a way to shed off that part of us that's been sucking out all our happiness.
C hasn't replied yet, and I don't know if he'll agree or if he'll just take this all as a sign that we're on our way to ex-coupledom. But I hope he figures out that it's a way to see if we miss each other in absence.
