Snapshots

the day I turned nineteen..

if i were a hapless korean

We are guilty of buying pirated CDs, which our Muslim friend says, came all the way from China.
One of the best set deals we ever got was the star wars hexalogy. (?) Yehess. Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, 3, and who cares what the other three are.

The copy is okay, despite the fact that it's illegal. However, with great cheapness comes great crappity.

In a bout of boredom, I had a Star Wars Pirated DVD Movie Marathon by myself. I watched Anakin Skywalker grow from a tiny orb-headed tyke to an adult buxom brunette. Natalie Portman, it seems, doesn't age.

Then, as I got to episode III, I noticed something quite odd when I switched to English subtitles. It seems, the lovely and ungrammatical Chinese subtitle-ist made so many typos that I couldn't bear to watch the movie... well, okay, I laughed my head off. I asked our Muslim friend if this was really what they intended. Is it bad production? Actual propaganda? He said most of his customers don't discriminate anyway. Most Koreans don't. They are just learning English so it is okay. Translations don't matter. Just put off the subtitles. It's a good movie.

From the suspicions that this whole movie was orchestrated by the Chinese Left, I couldn't help but share with all of you the side of Star Wars that you do not see. The political undercurrents belied in the very concept of an intergalaxy... The anti-imperialist leanings of the Chinese typists... what values do they bring? And what the frickin heck is a Presbyterian Church??

and so, I bring you,

IF I WERE A HAPLESS KOREAN:
The Revolt of the Chinese Subtitle-ists

Anakin arrives at the Senate and he and Padme reunite behind a high pillar after the Senators congratulate the Jedi and welcome Senator Palpatine's return.

(Master Win boo) Chancellor Palpatine, are you all right?
[Subtitle: The D speaker, are you all right?]

(Sen. Palpatine) Yes, thanks to two Jedi knights. They killed Count Dooku but General Grievous has escaped once again.
[Subtitle: Luckily, two hopeless situation warriors they killed the data base
count of. But was again succeeded in escaping by the space general.]

(MW) General Grievous will run and hide, as he always does, he's a coward.
[The space have always been and then will do this king of matter only, coward]

(SP) But with Count Dooku dead, he is the leader of the Clone army.
[The database of is clay-cold, he is the leader of the empire soldier]

They continue talking and Win boo promises to find Grievous. Senator somebody talks to Anakin.

(Senator) The republic cannot praise you enough.
[The republic is really luckily you]

(Anakin) Thank you, Senator...
[The thanks cried up, sweet councilman of Europe.]

He sees Padme in the shadows and runs to her.

(Padme) Oh, Anakin!
[Gold lover!]

(Anakin) I've missed you, Padme..
[I miss you, the is virtuous and beautiful]

(P) There were whispers that you'd been killed!
[Have the rumor to say outside, you died.]

(A) I'm all right.
[How can?]
It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime!
[I feel that we seemed to separate the lifetime]
And I might have been if the Chancellor hadn't been kidnapped
[If it were not for the speaker to is kidnap, the possibility still returns not to come]
I don't think he would have ever brought us back from the outer rim seiges.
[The words fight in the outside galaxy basically return not to come]

Anakin kisses her.

(P) wait, not here!
[Etc., do not be here.]

(A) Yes, here.
[Right here!]
I'm.. I'm tired of all this deception
[I was tried of all these camouflage]
I don't care if they know we're married!
[I ignore they how do we have already got married.]

(P) Anakin, don't say things like that!
[The gold, do not say this kind of words]

They embrace.

(A) Are you all right?
[Are you O.K.?]
You're trembling. What's going on?
[You are in the dither, how?]

(P) There's something I have to tell you. Something wonderful has happened.
[there is a good news wanting to tell you.]
Ani... I'm pregnant.
[Dear, I was pregnant]

(A) That's... that's wonderful!
[That's... do you wants abortion?]

(p) what are we going to do?
[That what should we do?]

(A) We're not going to worry about anything right now.
[Yes what we do right now to worry]
All right?
[Good?]
This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.
[Should be most happy now. In my life the most happy time of abortion.]

They kiss.

*End Scene*

I don't get it either!

okay, I admit. Admonishing people for having maudlin repetitive feelings is not a proper way to start the New Year. Especially if you actually admonish them by way of slightly incoherent comic strips. (I just didn't want to get in trouble again for posting text documents with people's names in it and multiple expletives along the way. I've been warned once. I am not prepared to have a slander case against me.)

But, I also thought that starting the year with post-fallout depression and an ever increasing tendency towards suicide is just as lamentable.

Although one might debate upon the violence against Winslet in this strip, when he seemingly has done nothing wrong, except for nursing a broken heart and clogging up the space with his gloom.

I wanted to shock him violently out of his stupor.
I wanted to inflict a severe concussion so he'd wake up forgetting who he is, and consequently, how depressed he feels.
Most of all, I wanted to show off my figurative kung fu moves.

Tu Tausan Siks

because I can't think of anything poetic to say. :)

21 drinks and precisely 2,950 pesos later...

and still no planner.
they ran out of "stock."

so it has come to this.

i never really realized how dependent i was on organizers to fit in the little nuances of my routinely planned life. even if most of the time, circumstance defies what i pencil in.

till Starbucks awards me a planner for all that hard-earned, hard-drank coffee which i don't even like in the first place, my life will in some sense be disorganized and decaffeinated.

or if i were to look beyond me and my scattered memos in post-it form, there is a child who is waiting for the donation made out in my name if and when i submit my claim stub.

but just as yet, that UNICEF benefactor will have to wait until Starbucks gets off its corporate ass and ships more planners to their Manila branches.

At this point I have a caffeine headache, an empty wallet, and a red card with glitter stickers all over it. What is the use, I ask.
I don't even know why they put up the stupid promo anyway if they can't even redeem our stubs.

21 drinks and precisely 2,950 pesos later...

and still no planner.
they ran out of "stock."

so it has come to this.

i never really realized how dependent i was on organizers to fit in the little nuances of my routinely planned life. even if most of the time, circumstance defies what i pencil in.

till Starbucks awards me a planner for all that hard-earned, hard-drank coffee which i don't even like in the first place, my life will in some sense be disorganized and decaffeinated.

or if i were to look beyond me and my scattered memos in post-it form, there is a child who is waiting for the donation made out in my name if and when i submit my claim stub.

but just as yet, that UNICEF benefactor will have to wait until Starbucks gets off its corporate ass and ships more planners to their Manila branches.

At this point I have a caffeine headache, an empty wallet, and a red card with glitter stickers all over it. What is the use, I ask.
I don't even know why they put up the stupid promo anyway if they can't even redeem our stubs.

21 drinks and precisely 2,950 pesos later...

and still no planner.
they ran out of "stock."

so it has come to this.

i never really realized how dependent i was on organizers to fit in the little nuances of my routinely planned life. even if most of the time, circumstance defies what i pencil in.

till Starbucks awards me a planner for all that hard-earned, hard-drank coffee which i don't even like in the first place, my life will in some sense be disorganized and decaffeinated.

or if i were to look beyond me and my scattered memos in post-it form, there is a child who is waiting for the donation made out in my name if and when i submit my claim stub.

but just as yet, that UNICEF benefactor will have to wait until Starbucks gets off its corporate ass and ships more planners to their Manila branches.

At this point I have a caffeine headache, an empty wallet, and a red card with glitter stickers all over it. What is the use, I ask.
I don't even know why they put up the stupid promo anyway if they can't even redeem our stubs.

21 drinks and precisely 2,950 pesos later...

and still no planner.
they ran out of "stock."

so it has come to this.

i never really realized how dependent i was on organizers to fit in the little nuances of my routinely planned life. even if most of the time, circumstance defies what i pencil in.

till Starbucks awards me a planner for all that hard-earned, hard-drank coffee which i don't even like in the first place, my life will in some sense be disorganized and decaffeinated.

or if i were to look beyond me and my scattered memos in post-it form, there is a child who is waiting for the donation made out in my name if and when i submit my claim stub.

but just as yet, that UNICEF benefactor will have to wait until Starbucks gets off its corporate ass and ships more planners to their Manila branches.

At this point I have a caffeine headache, an empty wallet, and a red card with glitter stickers all over it. What is the use, I ask.
I don't even know why they put up the stupid promo anyway if they can't even redeem our stubs.

21 drinks and precisely 2,950 pesos later...

and still no planner.
they ran out of "stock."

so it has come to this.

i never really realized how dependent i was on organizers to fit in the little nuances of my routinely planned life. even if most of the time, circumstance defies what i pencil in.

till Starbucks awards me a planner for all that hard-earned, hard-drank coffee which i don't even like in the first place, my life will in some sense be disorganized and decaffeinated.

or if i were to look beyond me and my scattered memos in post-it form, there is a child who is waiting for the donation made out in my name if and when i submit my claim stub.

but just as yet, that UNICEF benefactor will have to wait until Starbucks gets off its corporate ass and ships more planners to their Manila branches.

At this point I have a caffeine headache, an empty wallet, and a red card with glitter stickers all over it. What is the use, I ask.
I don't even know why they put up the stupid promo anyway if they can't even redeem our stubs.