on the symptoms of the workaholic

I have a good, strong work ethic. Or so I say frequently on my resume.

That basically means, covertly, that I want my future employers to make me their whore. Or workhorse, whatever.

It means that, 97% of the time, I do my job and I do it well, happily staying late in the office to complete something to its dogged, bitter, drawn-out end.

It means that, on a vacation, in a remote area with no Wi-Fi but crawling with suntanned men, I would still opt to bring my work with me, all stuffed in a big purple duffel bag, on top of the sundresses and flip flops and extra underwear.

It also means that on a day when I get my wisdom teeth pulled out, and the doctor expressly forbids me to work that day unless I want to die from massive blood loss, I still would work and won't tell anybody. Clean up the blood later.

I used to break down into a pool of panicky wailing putty when something beyond my control interrupted the completion of my job: an e-mail failure, a computer jam, a fever, a death in the family.

In fact, I had a dream the other night, when a dentist with his torture tools looms over me and straps me onto his dentist's chair saying, (in God's voice) "Thou shalt not work! (work... work...)" And I'm like, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"
(dreamvision enters mouth, esophagus, and cut to black)

The parents are semi-pleased, semi-worried that I'll grow up to be an overambitious, high-strung worker ant with no husband and no friends but piles and piles of money.
I scare my best friend sometimes,
no, make that all the time, with my inhuman sadistic penchant for tasks and homework and my insane preoccupation with making to-do lists and crossing them out.

I never really thought work could be a disease. Like, a real, serious, life-crippling disease. And I never really really think of myself as a workaholic. 'Till my dad had to physically wrestle my arms away from the keyboard. Till my aunt sent me a link to an online quiz, to quote, "Are You A workaholic? Take this test now!" signed with love, concerned family members. Till I bled from the mouth and had to be kept a day in the clinic for disobeying doctor's orders.

I always figured I was cutting out a big, bright future for myself, selling my labor to happy, satisfied employers, and training myself for the rigors and stress ahead in the "Real World." (All this while I'm still in the fake world.)

You know, I can be really great at laziness too, if I found the time for it.

I always figured, when all else are earning substandard pay, taking the overstuffed train to work and back someday, I'd be ruling the world, driving a supercool, eco-friendly race car that runs on air, earning bagillions to donate to poor countries and being at that pinnacle of my long, hard-earned career when I can have and afford all the vacations, friends, and husbands I want.

Cue, Mom: "So what it if you have all the money in the world if you're dead naman by 30???"

Variations of which are: "How will you work if you'll kill yourself naman in the process?" and, of course, my favorite platitude of all time: "Aanhin pa ang damo kung wala na ang kabayo?"
Salamat, Mommy, at tinawag mo akong kabayo.

It was really just wanting to work hard enough so that my family won't have to work as hard for it as I did, so (and god forbid my parents will be piqued) that they will have everything I didn't. To work so hard, I'd be so good at my job that I'd be helping society because of it. It was really just that.

That's all I wanted with my good, strong, work ethic.

My Fyeest Presscon

[delayed post ng sobrang sobra]

My first presscon today sa Max's QC Circle. Grinpis and Eco-W a s t e Coa lition unveiled the "greenest" candidates--as in environmentally sound yung platform and basically pro-environment. Might not get my story up since our server's been whacked lately.

Interesting naman kasi besides noticing several quirky journalistic behavior from my (er..) fellow (?) [fellow ko na ba sila o im still the scum that feeds on the fungus that dwells in the fellow's ear?] journalists, may natutunan akong trick from a Greenpeace woman on keeping your computer safe from USB-transmitted disease.

Sabi niya i-share ko daw sa lahat ng tao so here it is:

• bago may isasaksak na USB sa iyong computer, hold down Shift and continue until the USB is safely in place. Doing this will prevent the virus's autorun function as well as showing hidden files sa USB, dahil usually nagtatago ang virus.
• Sa iyong Folder Options sa My Computer folder, at lahat ng ibang folder, default ang setting na "Do not show hidden files." [under hidden files and folders]. Choose "Always show hidden files and folders" instead. And have a happy, healthy computer.

So thank you, Greenpeace woman.

Anyway, sa mga presscon dumadagsa ang karamihan ng mga tao. Maliban sa may importanteng sasabihin ang iyong news source, siguradong may maraming pagkain. Pinapanood ko yung ibang mga photographer sa kabilang table na kumain at funny kasi parang hindi sila kumain ng ilang linggo. Halos pati buto ng chicken ay kainin nila. Pero exag naman ako diba. Yun lang naman, natutuwa lang ako.

At isa pa. My first brush with some I n q u i r e r reporters. Parang medyo aloof lang sila, medyo lang naman, I was trying to be friendly and chat with them since we were at the same table pero parang wala silang facial expressions. Hindi naman sa lahat sila ganun, siguro I just caught them at a bad time.

Oh well. At least masarap yung chopsuey.

My Fyeest Presscon

[delayed post ng sobrang sobra]

My first presscon today sa Max's QC Circle. Grinpis and Eco-W a s t e Coa lition unveiled the "greenest" candidates--as in environmentally sound yung platform and basically pro-environment. Might not get my story up since our server's been whacked lately.

Interesting naman kasi besides noticing several quirky journalistic behavior from my (er..) fellow (?) [fellow ko na ba sila o im still the scum that feeds on the fungus that dwells in the fellow's ear?] journalists, may natutunan akong trick from a Greenpeace woman on keeping your computer safe from USB-transmitted disease.

Sabi niya i-share ko daw sa lahat ng tao so here it is:

• bago may isasaksak na USB sa iyong computer, hold down Shift and continue until the USB is safely in place. Doing this will prevent the virus's autorun function as well as showing hidden files sa USB, dahil usually nagtatago ang virus.
• Sa iyong Folder Options sa My Computer folder, at lahat ng ibang folder, default ang setting na "Do not show hidden files." [under hidden files and folders]. Choose "Always show hidden files and folders" instead. And have a happy, healthy computer.

So thank you, Greenpeace woman.

Anyway, sa mga presscon dumadagsa ang karamihan ng mga tao. Maliban sa may importanteng sasabihin ang iyong news source, siguradong may maraming pagkain. Pinapanood ko yung ibang mga photographer sa kabilang table na kumain at funny kasi parang hindi sila kumain ng ilang linggo. Halos pati buto ng chicken ay kainin nila. Pero exag naman ako diba. Yun lang naman, natutuwa lang ako.

At isa pa. My first brush with some I n q u i r e r reporters. Parang medyo aloof lang sila, medyo lang naman, I was trying to be friendly and chat with them since we were at the same table pero parang wala silang facial expressions. Hindi naman sa lahat sila ganun, siguro I just caught them at a bad time.

Oh well. At least masarap yung chopsuey.

putang ina bakit ang hirap mag.....

research???

bakit??? bakit??? bakit????

Internet na nga lang bakit ang hirap parin????

ilang oras na ako nagssearch sa internet ng putanginang airlines na may-ari ng putang-inang airport at nakita ko na ang lahat ng lupalop ng daigdig at inisa-isa ang kanilang mga website pero putang ina lang talaga wala pa rin.

nakaka-frustrate lang isipin na lahat DAW ng putang inang impormasyon ay nasa internet dahil sa sobrang laki ng putang inang cyberspace na yan imposibleng walang mahanap na kahit isang USEFUL na putang inang page pero putang ina lang talaga wala parin!!!!!!!

na-type ko na lahat ng possible na keywords at nung huli ay kasama na ang mga words na "putang ina" dahil gusto kong murahin ang google, and yahoo, and msn, at and askjeeves na wala naman palang kwenta.

putang ina ninyong lahat, search engines!!

putang ina ninyong mga useless websites na kulang sa putang inang impormasyon!!

at isang malaking malaking putang ina sa taong nag-imbento ng putang inang proseso na tinatawag nating research!!

putang ina bakit ang hirap mag.....

research???

bakit??? bakit??? bakit????

Internet na nga lang bakit ang hirap parin????

ilang oras na ako nagssearch sa internet ng putanginang airlines na may-ari ng putang-inang airport at nakita ko na ang lahat ng lupalop ng daigdig at inisa-isa ang kanilang mga website pero putang ina lang talaga wala pa rin.

nakaka-frustrate lang isipin na lahat DAW ng putang inang impormasyon ay nasa internet dahil sa sobrang laki ng putang inang cyberspace na yan imposibleng walang mahanap na kahit isang USEFUL na putang inang page pero putang ina lang talaga wala parin!!!!!!!

na-type ko na lahat ng possible na keywords at nung huli ay kasama na ang mga words na "putang ina" dahil gusto kong murahin ang google, and yahoo, and msn, at and askjeeves na wala naman palang kwenta.

putang ina ninyong lahat, search engines!!

putang ina ninyong mga useless websites na kulang sa putang inang impormasyon!!

at isang malaking malaking putang ina sa taong nag-imbento ng putang inang proseso na tinatawag nating research!!

putang ina bakit ang hirap mag.....

research???

bakit??? bakit??? bakit????

Internet na nga lang bakit ang hirap parin????

ilang oras na ako nagssearch sa internet ng putanginang airlines na may-ari ng putang-inang airport at nakita ko na ang lahat ng lupalop ng daigdig at inisa-isa ang kanilang mga website pero putang ina lang talaga wala pa rin.

nakaka-frustrate lang isipin na lahat DAW ng putang inang impormasyon ay nasa internet dahil sa sobrang laki ng putang inang cyberspace na yan imposibleng walang mahanap na kahit isang USEFUL na putang inang page pero putang ina lang talaga wala parin!!!!!!!

na-type ko na lahat ng possible na keywords at nung huli ay kasama na ang mga words na "putang ina" dahil gusto kong murahin ang google, and yahoo, and msn, at and askjeeves na wala naman palang kwenta.

putang ina ninyong lahat, search engines!!

putang ina ninyong mga useless websites na kulang sa putang inang impormasyon!!

at isang malaking malaking putang ina sa taong nag-imbento ng putang inang proseso na tinatawag nating research!!

putang ina bakit ang hirap mag.....

research???

bakit??? bakit??? bakit????

Internet na nga lang bakit ang hirap parin????

ilang oras na ako nagssearch sa internet ng putanginang airlines na may-ari ng putang-inang airport at nakita ko na ang lahat ng lupalop ng daigdig at inisa-isa ang kanilang mga website pero putang ina lang talaga wala pa rin.

nakaka-frustrate lang isipin na lahat DAW ng putang inang impormasyon ay nasa internet dahil sa sobrang laki ng putang inang cyberspace na yan imposibleng walang mahanap na kahit isang USEFUL na putang inang page pero putang ina lang talaga wala parin!!!!!!!

na-type ko na lahat ng possible na keywords at nung huli ay kasama na ang mga words na "putang ina" dahil gusto kong murahin ang google, and yahoo, and msn, at and askjeeves na wala naman palang kwenta.

putang ina ninyong lahat, search engines!!

putang ina ninyong mga useless websites na kulang sa putang inang impormasyon!!

at isang malaking malaking putang ina sa taong nag-imbento ng putang inang proseso na tinatawag nating research!!

putang ina bakit ang hirap mag.....

research???

bakit??? bakit??? bakit????

Internet na nga lang bakit ang hirap parin????

ilang oras na ako nagssearch sa internet ng putanginang airlines na may-ari ng putang-inang airport at nakita ko na ang lahat ng lupalop ng daigdig at inisa-isa ang kanilang mga website pero putang ina lang talaga wala pa rin.

nakaka-frustrate lang isipin na lahat DAW ng putang inang impormasyon ay nasa internet dahil sa sobrang laki ng putang inang cyberspace na yan imposibleng walang mahanap na kahit isang USEFUL na putang inang page pero putang ina lang talaga wala parin!!!!!!!

na-type ko na lahat ng possible na keywords at nung huli ay kasama na ang mga words na "putang ina" dahil gusto kong murahin ang google, and yahoo, and msn, at and askjeeves na wala naman palang kwenta.

putang ina ninyong lahat, search engines!!

putang ina ninyong mga useless websites na kulang sa putang inang impormasyon!!

at isang malaking malaking putang ina sa taong nag-imbento ng putang inang proseso na tinatawag nating research!!

at may bago akong respeto sa mga commres

wala naman masyadong assignment ngayon. ngarag lang kasi detective work na... as in, hunting for clues and doing a lot of archival work. Specifically, I'm looking for:

1) the companies this Chinese dude owns.

2) a rare interview given by said Chinese dude on a show hosted by C e s D r i l o n that's no longer running now.

I went about number 2 by going to ABS-CBN's archive section (na super super super lamig thank god at ang init ngayon!!!) at inisa-isa ko yung lahaaaat ng episode ng shows ni C e s D r i l o n, at 687 documents and 1,437 mouse clicks later wala parin.

So kailangan kong kausapin si C e s herself, na hindi naman kami close, in fernez, so good luck nalang sa akin.

ngayon nakababad ako sa online database ng Sec Exchange at wala pa ring headway, ang hirap hanapin ni Chinese dude, yun lang masasabi ko.

Humanda ka, Chinese boy. I will unearth you.

at may bago akong respeto sa mga commres

wala naman masyadong assignment ngayon. ngarag lang kasi detective work na... as in, hunting for clues and doing a lot of archival work. Specifically, I'm looking for:

1) the companies this Chinese dude owns.

2) a rare interview given by said Chinese dude on a show hosted by C e s D r i l o n that's no longer running now.

I went about number 2 by going to ABS-CBN's archive section (na super super super lamig thank god at ang init ngayon!!!) at inisa-isa ko yung lahaaaat ng episode ng shows ni C e s D r i l o n, at 687 documents and 1,437 mouse clicks later wala parin.

So kailangan kong kausapin si C e s herself, na hindi naman kami close, in fernez, so good luck nalang sa akin.

ngayon nakababad ako sa online database ng Sec Exchange at wala pa ring headway, ang hirap hanapin ni Chinese dude, yun lang masasabi ko.

Humanda ka, Chinese boy. I will unearth you.

nausea or nostalgia.

It was fifth grade and I was the ailing, antisocial, hopelessly shy, awkward, bordering on inferior, consummate teacher's pet and overachieving nerd with an active sinus.

We were practicing a little number for our fifth and sixth grade dance. I had for a partner, unfortunately, Alex Jusa, the swaggering, obnoxious, recent immigrant from Texas. He was a stocky and good-looking boy, who walked as if he always had a horse in between his legs.

"All right, hold your partner's hands!" the phys ed teacher yelled out, clapping her beefy hands together.

"EEEwww!! Yuuuck! I don't wanna dance with her!" Alex yells, recoiling. Due to the marvelous acoustics of the quad, he was heard all the way to China. Why, Alex? Is it my salient body odor?? I panic inwardly. "Cause her palms are sweaty!!" he complains.

To my utter and sheer horror, everyone watches as the teacher has to force an eew-ing and yuck-ing Alex to stay within three feet of me. she makes a suggestion that I roll down my sleeves and make him hold the loose end of my sweater. Alex reluctantly nears. He grabs onto my sweater, and we dance like that. Alex and the ugly thing connected to the purple sweater.

The day of the dance comes and we have it, incidentally, in Alex's family's newly opened Japanese restaurant. It's the first "prom" I've ever been to as yet so I had to let my mom drag me excitedly to the salon to have my hair fixed and my face made up.

Being in the girly-girly-things-aren't-cool phase (I detested pink then), I was rather uncomfortable in my dress. Having teacher chaperones there, I was not allowed to drown myself in the teacher's (therefore spiked) punch bowl. Kenny G was the safest choice for music, they figured, and so we sat through the whole damn thing to the tune of a wailing saxophone.

It's time for the dancing and, as pre-adolescents go, we wait eagerly for a brave young man to ask a lucky young girl to dance so we can throw confetti (or shoes) at them, tease and mock them to no end. the boys blush. the girls fidget not wanting to be the wallflower unfortunate.

Out of nowhere, gliding like a sylph comes Texas boy, staring in *ahem* mute wonder at.. what now? Gum sticking to my rock solid immovable hair reeking of hair spray? his breath to my ear was like a jolt.
"Hi Kristine..."
Hi Alex.
"Hey....(pause for admiration *ahaha*) I've never seen you so beautiful before.... Can I dance with you?"

More out of shyness, low self-esteem, disbelief, the nerd reflex; rather than for spite or revenge; I vehemently declined. So violent was I that Alex threatened to "tell me to teacher." (our grammar then was a bit skewed, 'Sige, I'll tell you to teacher!')

I said, fine, go ahead. Oh and the sushi sucked! And he stalked away, the dejected brute, away, away, back all the way to Texas where girls in pink dresses don't say no.

The reason for the recalled memory. It took me like, eight years to realize that I got back at him somehow. that night I turned him down for a silly little dance. for saying my palms were sweaty. for acting as if I were the class plague. even if I didn't intend to "hurt" him or "reject" him or whatever you call it.

What he failed to do though, for that year before he left forever, was to ask me why my palms were sweaty in the first place.

Simple. It was because I tended to do that, among other things, when I got nervous around boys I really really (no, really) really really Liked.

one down, a million to go...

My article just got published online. Yey.

It's super edited nga lang, but they kept my information and the quotes I got, and most of the general structure. hahahahahahaha. I super suck talaga at writing. Nakakahiya tuloy magpakita ulit ng mukha sa office... hee hee. *blush* I have to attune myself nalang to their style again.

Anyway, here's the picture of the womyn of M a l o l o s. Congratulations again!!

source: www.newsbreak.com.ph

You see that little strip of shadow beside Ms. M a r i t e s V i t u g at the rightmost corner? Yeah, that was supposed to be me. :)

one down, a million to go...

My article just got published online. Yey.

It's super edited nga lang, but they kept my information and the quotes I got, and most of the general structure. hahahahahahaha. I super suck talaga at writing. Nakakahiya tuloy magpakita ulit ng mukha sa office... hee hee. *blush* I have to attune myself nalang to their style again.

Anyway, here's the picture of the womyn of M a l o l o s. Congratulations again!!

source: www.newsbreak.com.ph

You see that little strip of shadow beside Ms. M a r i t e s V i t u g at the rightmost corner? Yeah, that was supposed to be me. :)

patience, young padowan

the principle we are working with today is patience. and perspiration. and protection against harassment.

today, we progressed to PHASE TWO of our internship program--that of LEGWORK.

in fairness, talagang kailangan ng legs... for walking ha! not for.... oh never mind.

co-intern from Arneyow and I went to C O M E L E C to hunt down supersecret information. (actually public record yun. repeat after me: "Sir, I invoke my Constitutional right to free access to information imbued with public interest Article ..... Section...")

We went there by commute, good thing I had my handy dandy Citiatlas. She was sport naman even if she said she wasn't used to commuting. Or getting exposed to the sun.

The mission: get all the COC's at all costs.

"what's our strategy?" she asked.

"wear something low and lean forward," I said.

Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to seduce anyone there since no one really wanted to talk to us. We went to the Law Department, talked to the various employees who looked like they were busy, but they really were just pretending to be. I swear. I saw one of them kaya surfing porn sa computer niya.

We stalked their Leader, who was toothless, and i kept getting distracted by his ONE yellowing protruding tooth to hear what he had to say. Fortunately it wasn't pleasant. He was hostile, really, and didn't want two nosy interns poking into their bizniz. The files we needed to look at were just lying around in large cardboard boxes. JUST THERE within our reach!!

They were sorting, you see, and reportedly have 30 people on the job to classify and cross-check ALLLLL the certificates of candid acy from ALLLLL the provinces in ALLLL the world, and they haven't gotten through ten municipalities yet. He even declined our offer to help sort the damn things. "I'm sorry but we can't trust you with these documents." In his mind, we were kleptos.

He sent us to another office, the records section, full of hormone-raging men who hit on us to no end. It was really so sad. Like: "Pare, pakilala mo naman kami sa bisita mo.... *snigger* tanungin mo kung gusto nila ng sopdrings at mamon... sabihin mo galing sakin prom da botom op my hart." yuuuuukkkkkk talaga!!!

They sent us to another office, and another one, and another one ad nauseam. We were in and out of the building so much, the guards and receptionists and military dudes istambaying there were all like, "San ba talaga kayo pupunta??" The woman receptionist hesitated giving me a visitor's pass: "Sabihin mo na sa akin ngayon. Babalik ba kayo paulit ulit? Kasi sayong sayo na yang I.D. na yan."

In the end even N E W S B R E A K 's insider didn't help us. Frankly, we were annoying little twits who asked too many questions. They're under a strict deadline, she said, and researchers like us would just hinder and interrupt them unnecessarily. At this point I watched the secretary file her nails.

Really desperate, and both of us sweating like mad for some reason in the blessedly air-conditioned foyer, co-intern asked, "Is there a technique to this?"
Persuading naturally uncooperative bureaucratic people to give you data? Data that is PUBLIC RECORD, really, but since they're naturally suspicious of press people, thinking that we're scheming to bring about their ruin, they guard their little folders like the Holy Grail?

My rule is, I said, if charm doesn't work, use reason. If reason doesn't work, use aggression. If aggressiveness doesn't work, then I give thee license to get hysterical. "DEADLINE NA PO NAMIN!!!!! Why won't you help us???? Bulok na sistema ng government i hate you i hate you i hate you RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!"

She rightly observed, "Siguro kung sila Ma'am G l e n d a or M a r i t e s yung pumunta meron na kaagad information." That's cause they have the patina. The clout. The credibility. The experience. In fact, sometimes, the sources come to them and not the other way 'round.

We, who don't have jack sh*t to our names, or our credentials, are but the bottom feeders in the journalistic food chain as far as C o m e l e c is concerned. Comes with the job, i guess--you know, difficult and forbidding sources.

Someday, maybe, we shall have a piece of the patina. Someday we'll have the toothless man and all his kind eat (with much difficulty, since he's only got gums to go on) from the palm of our hands. Someday when we get their trust and respect, we'll be able to walk into a government office, and come out beaming. Perhaps we'll beg and grovel less.

But right now, we're just gonna have to get used to sore legs, no money, and the frustration that comes with a hard day's work and nothing to show for it.

patience, young padowan

the principle we are working with today is patience. and perspiration. and protection against harassment.

today, we progressed to PHASE TWO of our internship program--that of LEGWORK.

in fairness, talagang kailangan ng legs... for walking ha! not for.... oh never mind.

co-intern from Arneyow and I went to C O M E L E C to hunt down supersecret information. (actually public record yun. repeat after me: "Sir, I invoke my Constitutional right to free access to information imbued with public interest Article ..... Section...")

We went there by commute, good thing I had my handy dandy Citiatlas. She was sport naman even if she said she wasn't used to commuting. Or getting exposed to the sun.

The mission: get all the COC's at all costs.

"what's our strategy?" she asked.

"wear something low and lean forward," I said.

Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to seduce anyone there since no one really wanted to talk to us. We went to the Law Department, talked to the various employees who looked like they were busy, but they really were just pretending to be. I swear. I saw one of them kaya surfing porn sa computer niya.

We stalked their Leader, who was toothless, and i kept getting distracted by his ONE yellowing protruding tooth to hear what he had to say. Fortunately it wasn't pleasant. He was hostile, really, and didn't want two nosy interns poking into their bizniz. The files we needed to look at were just lying around in large cardboard boxes. JUST THERE within our reach!!

They were sorting, you see, and reportedly have 30 people on the job to classify and cross-check ALLLLL the certificates of candid acy from ALLLLL the provinces in ALLLL the world, and they haven't gotten through ten municipalities yet. He even declined our offer to help sort the damn things. "I'm sorry but we can't trust you with these documents." In his mind, we were kleptos.

He sent us to another office, the records section, full of hormone-raging men who hit on us to no end. It was really so sad. Like: "Pare, pakilala mo naman kami sa bisita mo.... *snigger* tanungin mo kung gusto nila ng sopdrings at mamon... sabihin mo galing sakin prom da botom op my hart." yuuuuukkkkkk talaga!!!

They sent us to another office, and another one, and another one ad nauseam. We were in and out of the building so much, the guards and receptionists and military dudes istambaying there were all like, "San ba talaga kayo pupunta??" The woman receptionist hesitated giving me a visitor's pass: "Sabihin mo na sa akin ngayon. Babalik ba kayo paulit ulit? Kasi sayong sayo na yang I.D. na yan."

In the end even N E W S B R E A K 's insider didn't help us. Frankly, we were annoying little twits who asked too many questions. They're under a strict deadline, she said, and researchers like us would just hinder and interrupt them unnecessarily. At this point I watched the secretary file her nails.

Really desperate, and both of us sweating like mad for some reason in the blessedly air-conditioned foyer, co-intern asked, "Is there a technique to this?"
Persuading naturally uncooperative bureaucratic people to give you data? Data that is PUBLIC RECORD, really, but since they're naturally suspicious of press people, thinking that we're scheming to bring about their ruin, they guard their little folders like the Holy Grail?

My rule is, I said, if charm doesn't work, use reason. If reason doesn't work, use aggression. If aggressiveness doesn't work, then I give thee license to get hysterical. "DEADLINE NA PO NAMIN!!!!! Why won't you help us???? Bulok na sistema ng government i hate you i hate you i hate you RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!"

She rightly observed, "Siguro kung sila Ma'am G l e n d a or M a r i t e s yung pumunta meron na kaagad information." That's cause they have the patina. The clout. The credibility. The experience. In fact, sometimes, the sources come to them and not the other way 'round.

We, who don't have jack sh*t to our names, or our credentials, are but the bottom feeders in the journalistic food chain as far as C o m e l e c is concerned. Comes with the job, i guess--you know, difficult and forbidding sources.

Someday, maybe, we shall have a piece of the patina. Someday we'll have the toothless man and all his kind eat (with much difficulty, since he's only got gums to go on) from the palm of our hands. Someday when we get their trust and respect, we'll be able to walk into a government office, and come out beaming. Perhaps we'll beg and grovel less.

But right now, we're just gonna have to get used to sore legs, no money, and the frustration that comes with a hard day's work and nothing to show for it.

in the battle of the sexes, i.e. my parents, the winner always is......

Mom. Who's apparently gone alcoholic now and has even got her 8-year-old son to fetch the beer for her.

She gets the award if only for exemplary dramatic skills.

She hates us all now, except said brother, because we generally behave like sloths and she's sick and tired of cleaning up after us.

She also hates my Dad, which she always has since they started living in the same zipcode, because he's been playing golf incessantly and hasn't been giving her the love and attention she wants, inclusive of money to buy groceries.

Tonight she fed us hotdogs and even took to slamming down our plates, hostility bordering on idiocy. It's like she said, "Fuck you, vegetarian daughter, you go eat grass in our yard for all I care."

As I was quietly fixing the mess she made, a feat for her, considering she's always been a neat freak, she told me sarcastically that I shouldn't care washing the dishes. "It's pointless to clean this house! Bahala na kayong papasukin lahat ng daga lahat ng dumi, wala akong pakialam."

She's taught Miggy a life lesson too. "You can't depend on anybody."

Dad noticed her anger, of course, and he's used to reading the signs, and can't do anything about it. He probably had a powwow in the car with my other brother, telling him how hypersensitive and negative Mom is.

Again, she's upstairs, drinking beer while her son watches cartoons in front of her. I'm thinking if I should go up and check if she's killed herself. She probably will, one of these days.

I am not prepared to face anything, and for once I have no retort. I can't say anything, really, since she'll just bawl her eyes out at me and I don't need this right now. Even if she needs us more than ever.

I'm sure we won't have washed clothes this week, or next week. I'm sure she'll stop entering our room to see if we've cleaned it, thank god. I'm sure she won't speak to us in the near future, and generally NOT do household chores, behave like a pig, and wallow in her angry depression just to teach us all a lesson.

I'll probably step up to do what she'll refuse to do, and a few days from now she's going to hop on a bus with no note or goodbye and move to Baguio. She'll burn all our pictures and basically disown us.

Whatever.

I've lived with my Dad before, and I've been used to eating moldy cheese and wilted salads before. The washing machine and the iron aren't alien to me, and I'm used to my mother hating me.

No use bitching about it now.

in the battle of the sexes, i.e. my parents, the winner always is......

Mom. Who's apparently gone alcoholic now and has even got her 8-year-old son to fetch the beer for her.

She gets the award if only for exemplary dramatic skills.

She hates us all now, except said brother, because we generally behave like sloths and she's sick and tired of cleaning up after us.

She also hates my Dad, which she always has since they started living in the same zipcode, because he's been playing golf incessantly and hasn't been giving her the love and attention she wants, inclusive of money to buy groceries.

Tonight she fed us hotdogs and even took to slamming down our plates, hostility bordering on idiocy. It's like she said, "Fuck you, vegetarian daughter, you go eat grass in our yard for all I care."

As I was quietly fixing the mess she made, a feat for her, considering she's always been a neat freak, she told me sarcastically that I shouldn't care washing the dishes. "It's pointless to clean this house! Bahala na kayong papasukin lahat ng daga lahat ng dumi, wala akong pakialam."

She's taught Miggy a life lesson too. "You can't depend on anybody."

Dad noticed her anger, of course, and he's used to reading the signs, and can't do anything about it. He probably had a powwow in the car with my other brother, telling him how hypersensitive and negative Mom is.

Again, she's upstairs, drinking beer while her son watches cartoons in front of her. I'm thinking if I should go up and check if she's killed herself. She probably will, one of these days.

I am not prepared to face anything, and for once I have no retort. I can't say anything, really, since she'll just bawl her eyes out at me and I don't need this right now. Even if she needs us more than ever.

I'm sure we won't have washed clothes this week, or next week. I'm sure she'll stop entering our room to see if we've cleaned it, thank god. I'm sure she won't speak to us in the near future, and generally NOT do household chores, behave like a pig, and wallow in her angry depression just to teach us all a lesson.

I'll probably step up to do what she'll refuse to do, and a few days from now she's going to hop on a bus with no note or goodbye and move to Baguio. She'll burn all our pictures and basically disown us.

Whatever.

I've lived with my Dad before, and I've been used to eating moldy cheese and wilted salads before. The washing machine and the iron aren't alien to me, and I'm used to my mother hating me.

No use bitching about it now.

in the battle of the sexes, i.e. my parents, the winner always is......

Mom. Who's apparently gone alcoholic now and has even got her 8-year-old son to fetch the beer for her.

She gets the award if only for exemplary dramatic skills.

She hates us all now, except said brother, because we generally behave like sloths and she's sick and tired of cleaning up after us.

She also hates my Dad, which she always has since they started living in the same zipcode, because he's been playing golf incessantly and hasn't been giving her the love and attention she wants, inclusive of money to buy groceries.

Tonight she fed us hotdogs and even took to slamming down our plates, hostility bordering on idiocy. It's like she said, "Fuck you, vegetarian daughter, you go eat grass in our yard for all I care."

As I was quietly fixing the mess she made, a feat for her, considering she's always been a neat freak, she told me sarcastically that I shouldn't care washing the dishes. "It's pointless to clean this house! Bahala na kayong papasukin lahat ng daga lahat ng dumi, wala akong pakialam."

She's taught Miggy a life lesson too. "You can't depend on anybody."

Dad noticed her anger, of course, and he's used to reading the signs, and can't do anything about it. He probably had a powwow in the car with my other brother, telling him how hypersensitive and negative Mom is.

Again, she's upstairs, drinking beer while her son watches cartoons in front of her. I'm thinking if I should go up and check if she's killed herself. She probably will, one of these days.

I am not prepared to face anything, and for once I have no retort. I can't say anything, really, since she'll just bawl her eyes out at me and I don't need this right now. Even if she needs us more than ever.

I'm sure we won't have washed clothes this week, or next week. I'm sure she'll stop entering our room to see if we've cleaned it, thank god. I'm sure she won't speak to us in the near future, and generally NOT do household chores, behave like a pig, and wallow in her angry depression just to teach us all a lesson.

I'll probably step up to do what she'll refuse to do, and a few days from now she's going to hop on a bus with no note or goodbye and move to Baguio. She'll burn all our pictures and basically disown us.

Whatever.

I've lived with my Dad before, and I've been used to eating moldy cheese and wilted salads before. The washing machine and the iron aren't alien to me, and I'm used to my mother hating me.

No use bitching about it now.

in the battle of the sexes, i.e. my parents, the winner always is......

Mom. Who's apparently gone alcoholic now and has even got her 8-year-old son to fetch the beer for her.

She gets the award if only for exemplary dramatic skills.

She hates us all now, except said brother, because we generally behave like sloths and she's sick and tired of cleaning up after us.

She also hates my Dad, which she always has since they started living in the same zipcode, because he's been playing golf incessantly and hasn't been giving her the love and attention she wants, inclusive of money to buy groceries.

Tonight she fed us hotdogs and even took to slamming down our plates, hostility bordering on idiocy. It's like she said, "Fuck you, vegetarian daughter, you go eat grass in our yard for all I care."

As I was quietly fixing the mess she made, a feat for her, considering she's always been a neat freak, she told me sarcastically that I shouldn't care washing the dishes. "It's pointless to clean this house! Bahala na kayong papasukin lahat ng daga lahat ng dumi, wala akong pakialam."

She's taught Miggy a life lesson too. "You can't depend on anybody."

Dad noticed her anger, of course, and he's used to reading the signs, and can't do anything about it. He probably had a powwow in the car with my other brother, telling him how hypersensitive and negative Mom is.

Again, she's upstairs, drinking beer while her son watches cartoons in front of her. I'm thinking if I should go up and check if she's killed herself. She probably will, one of these days.

I am not prepared to face anything, and for once I have no retort. I can't say anything, really, since she'll just bawl her eyes out at me and I don't need this right now. Even if she needs us more than ever.

I'm sure we won't have washed clothes this week, or next week. I'm sure she'll stop entering our room to see if we've cleaned it, thank god. I'm sure she won't speak to us in the near future, and generally NOT do household chores, behave like a pig, and wallow in her angry depression just to teach us all a lesson.

I'll probably step up to do what she'll refuse to do, and a few days from now she's going to hop on a bus with no note or goodbye and move to Baguio. She'll burn all our pictures and basically disown us.

Whatever.

I've lived with my Dad before, and I've been used to eating moldy cheese and wilted salads before. The washing machine and the iron aren't alien to me, and I'm used to my mother hating me.

No use bitching about it now.

in the battle of the sexes, i.e. my parents, the winner always is......

Mom. Who's apparently gone alcoholic now and has even got her 8-year-old son to fetch the beer for her.

She gets the award if only for exemplary dramatic skills.

She hates us all now, except said brother, because we generally behave like sloths and she's sick and tired of cleaning up after us.

She also hates my Dad, which she always has since they started living in the same zipcode, because he's been playing golf incessantly and hasn't been giving her the love and attention she wants, inclusive of money to buy groceries.

Tonight she fed us hotdogs and even took to slamming down our plates, hostility bordering on idiocy. It's like she said, "Fuck you, vegetarian daughter, you go eat grass in our yard for all I care."

As I was quietly fixing the mess she made, a feat for her, considering she's always been a neat freak, she told me sarcastically that I shouldn't care washing the dishes. "It's pointless to clean this house! Bahala na kayong papasukin lahat ng daga lahat ng dumi, wala akong pakialam."

She's taught Miggy a life lesson too. "You can't depend on anybody."

Dad noticed her anger, of course, and he's used to reading the signs, and can't do anything about it. He probably had a powwow in the car with my other brother, telling him how hypersensitive and negative Mom is.

Again, she's upstairs, drinking beer while her son watches cartoons in front of her. I'm thinking if I should go up and check if she's killed herself. She probably will, one of these days.

I am not prepared to face anything, and for once I have no retort. I can't say anything, really, since she'll just bawl her eyes out at me and I don't need this right now. Even if she needs us more than ever.

I'm sure we won't have washed clothes this week, or next week. I'm sure she'll stop entering our room to see if we've cleaned it, thank god. I'm sure she won't speak to us in the near future, and generally NOT do household chores, behave like a pig, and wallow in her angry depression just to teach us all a lesson.

I'll probably step up to do what she'll refuse to do, and a few days from now she's going to hop on a bus with no note or goodbye and move to Baguio. She'll burn all our pictures and basically disown us.

Whatever.

I've lived with my Dad before, and I've been used to eating moldy cheese and wilted salads before. The washing machine and the iron aren't alien to me, and I'm used to my mother hating me.

No use bitching about it now.

break muna

parang depressing yung blog na ito hehe super serious.

So for this summer, I'm gonna make an account of my travails as a student intern of N E W S B R E A K Online, and my experience as an inexperienced (hihi) online journalist slash field reporter, so I made a blog specifically for that. I'm calling it "The Nosy Intern" hehehe.

Para ma-record ko rin yung hours ko dun for internship. Anyways, just wanted to share. Happy summer-ing every-everyone.

celebrity smorgasbord

So it was my first actual event assignment today, got it when the other intern bailed out. pictures later.

Good thing the place was near my house, so I got there early to snoop. Hahah, i was the first media person there.

At first I thought it was lame, like, awards show for women and all the boring brouhaha, but it turned out pretty good like an ice cream Sundae...

The goeey vanilla ice cream was the presence of V i l m a S a n t o s whom I interviewed up close! Like, shoved a tape recorder up her pretty un-Vicki-Belo-ed nose. She's really pretty. a few wrinkles but still, the basic infrastructure is there.

The chocolate syrup was the presence of R i s a H o n t i v e r o s B a r a q u e l, another pretty womyn. Smart too, brought her whole fair-skinned, beautiful goddess H o n t i v e r o s clan. My god, what lineage has denied us!!

My CL professor, who was there (earliest bird), said, "O, bakit hindi ka magpapicture sa kanila?"

"Ma'am, if I stand next to them, I will pale in comparison to their beauty." Davah? At hindi pwede mangyari yun!! hahaha

So then the sprinkle/s was/were . . . 'N i c o l e', rape survivor and her lawyer. Tough cookie, that one.

I saw her face for the first time. Pretty naman. But i'm not supposed to divulge her identity nor any details about her person. hehe, sorry I almost!

I felt so bad kasi when I asked her for a quick quick comment, she was like, being dragged away from me by a PR person of the event host and then N i c o l e wouldn't look at me, cringing away. Parang lumabas I was a nosy kulit super nakakaasar na reporter woman with a smile. Parang natraumatize siya sa media or something. "i don't give interviews eh," sabi niya. Of course I respect that, I was just asking. :)

Tapos funny at first I was refusing all the food they were giving me. (plates of macaroni salad, bread, mamon, crackers, soup, salad, more crackers, club sandwiches, chicken (ayayay! vegetarian ako!!!), fried rice, etcetera) kasi feeling ko unethical sa journalist na tumanggap ng food. Pero later on, my editor noticed and said, "It's not unethical kung lahat binibigyan..." hindi naman daw ako yung kaisa-isang taong binigyan ng chicken diba? Nga naman. hehehe *stupid*

Pero in the spirit of ethical violations gusto ko lang naman i-share. Yung mga ibang photogs kasi. While this one awardee was giving a speech, she was so emotional and was even crying, recounting her struggle, biglang dumating si M a y o r V i right? Eh inupo siya sa harap malapit sa podium kung saan nagsspeech nga yung woman. The cameramen were swarming around her, like a pack of wolves, cameras flashing, booms aimed at A t e V i, and clicking away SA HARAP NUNG BABAENG NAGSSPEECH ABOUT HER LIFE STORY NA SUPER SERIOUS YUNG PINAPAG-USAPAN! (land reform struggle) Hindi ba malaking kabastusan no?

My editors/ bosses were all shooing them away hahaha, buti hindi nagalit yung nagsspeech.

Haay. Oh, almost forgot. The cherry on top of the sundae. The women of N e w s b r e a k were given a special award for years of exemplary reportage and their quest for the truth. Si Ma'am M a r i t e s, funny, she was saying it has a nice ring to it. "The women of N e w s b r e a k, parang the women of M a l o l o s." Hehe. Yeheeey!! *applause* It makes me so proud to work with them.

Pero in the end, decorum aside, pagkatapos nung event, lahat kami nagtakbuhan kay A t e V i at nakipicture-picture. hehehehe. Sana may makuha akong pic sa photog namin. hehe. Remembrance.

Well, it's good to be back! :)

celebrity smorgasbord

So it was my first actual event assignment today, got it when the other intern bailed out. pictures later.

Good thing the place was near my house, so I got there early to snoop. Hahah, i was the first media person there.

At first I thought it was lame, like, awards show for women and all the boring brouhaha, but it turned out pretty good like an ice cream Sundae...

The goeey vanilla ice cream was the presence of V i l m a S a n t o s whom I interviewed up close! Like, shoved a tape recorder up her pretty un-Vicki-Belo-ed nose. She's really pretty. a few wrinkles but still, the basic infrastructure is there.

The chocolate syrup was the presence of R i s a H o n t i v e r o s B a r a q u e l, another pretty womyn. Smart too, brought her whole fair-skinned, beautiful goddess H o n t i v e r o s clan. My god, what lineage has denied us!!

My CL professor, who was there (earliest bird), said, "O, bakit hindi ka magpapicture sa kanila?"

"Ma'am, if I stand next to them, I will pale in comparison to their beauty." Davah? At hindi pwede mangyari yun!! hahaha

So then the sprinkle/s was/were . . . 'N i c o l e', rape survivor and her lawyer. Tough cookie, that one.

I saw her face for the first time. Pretty naman. But i'm not supposed to divulge her identity nor any details about her person. hehe, sorry I almost!

I felt so bad kasi when I asked her for a quick quick comment, she was like, being dragged away from me by a PR person of the event host and then N i c o l e wouldn't look at me, cringing away. Parang lumabas I was a nosy kulit super nakakaasar na reporter woman with a smile. Parang natraumatize siya sa media or something. "i don't give interviews eh," sabi niya. Of course I respect that, I was just asking. :)

Tapos funny at first I was refusing all the food they were giving me. (plates of macaroni salad, bread, mamon, crackers, soup, salad, more crackers, club sandwiches, chicken (ayayay! vegetarian ako!!!), fried rice, etcetera) kasi feeling ko unethical sa journalist na tumanggap ng food. Pero later on, my editor noticed and said, "It's not unethical kung lahat binibigyan..." hindi naman daw ako yung kaisa-isang taong binigyan ng chicken diba? Nga naman. hehehe *stupid*

Pero in the spirit of ethical violations gusto ko lang naman i-share. Yung mga ibang photogs kasi. While this one awardee was giving a speech, she was so emotional and was even crying, recounting her struggle, biglang dumating si M a y o r V i right? Eh inupo siya sa harap malapit sa podium kung saan nagsspeech nga yung woman. The cameramen were swarming around her, like a pack of wolves, cameras flashing, booms aimed at A t e V i, and clicking away SA HARAP NUNG BABAENG NAGSSPEECH ABOUT HER LIFE STORY NA SUPER SERIOUS YUNG PINAPAG-USAPAN! (land reform struggle) Hindi ba malaking kabastusan no?

My editors/ bosses were all shooing them away hahaha, buti hindi nagalit yung nagsspeech.

Haay. Oh, almost forgot. The cherry on top of the sundae. The women of N e w s b r e a k were given a special award for years of exemplary reportage and their quest for the truth. Si Ma'am M a r i t e s, funny, she was saying it has a nice ring to it. "The women of N e w s b r e a k, parang the women of M a l o l o s." Hehe. Yeheeey!! *applause* It makes me so proud to work with them.

Pero in the end, decorum aside, pagkatapos nung event, lahat kami nagtakbuhan kay A t e V i at nakipicture-picture. hehehehe. Sana may makuha akong pic sa photog namin. hehe. Remembrance.

Well, it's good to be back! :)

First Time Voting Jitters

Armed with what I hope to be adequate knowledge from election monitoring and a healthy dose of cynicism or irrationality, just wanted to violate the sanctity of my ballot for a second and share with you who I'm NOT going to vote for this year. [Note: It took me a solid hour staring at a blank screen before I gave up on making a list of who I'm going to vote for this year.]

"Oh yea men of low fiber! You should really eat more bran."--Sean Spencer, PSYCH

I will not vote for Chavit Singson because he's EPAL (dabbling in a hostage situation on your spare time! for shame!), he seems to just buy off people whenever he can, makes like he's ignorant about the frickin Election Omnibus Code thingy, and he's got a shoddy (not to mention shady) political record.

I will not vote for Prospero Pichay simply because he looks like a goon. I wouldn't plant him anywhere near the Senate unless it involves being buried deeeeep within the ground where the sun don't shine.

I will not vote for Ralph Recto because, apart from being too pale for his own good, I don't think he's running for anything except ensuring his family's got cushy positions in politics. The probable reason he's gotten so much media mileage recently is because of his wife's tiresome little I-don't-want-to-run-wait-I-think-I-want-to-
-sniff-sniff-Ricky?-think-about-our-family!-Ricky??-
but-oh-it-will-ruin-my-family-oh-that-can't-happen-oh-what-the-heck
-I'll-run
-anyway drama. There's more to this political family feud than we're told.
Oh, and I dislike his son for thinking he's god's gift to womankind (or mankind, whichever), so I sort of hate him by association.

I will not vote for Tessie Aquino-Oreta, 'cause her apology came too late and came suspiciously at a time when she's running for Senator. Being transparently power-grubbing, ergo, does anyone find her public apology for her misplaced dancing skills sincere? Seriously?

I will not vote for Cesar Montano. I'm sorry, Cesar. I loved you in Muro-ami and Jose Rizal, I really did, but this isn't FAMAS or the Manila Film Festival (kick-ass directorial debut, btw) or whatever actor awards show showbiz people like to attend nowadays. This is the government. And even though there's always acting involved, it's just a different arena.

(Richard Gomez, please see above)

I will not vote for Vic Magsaysay because he isn't good at political stand-up comedy.

I will not vote for Allan Peter Cayetano because he assumes Filipino voters are stupid, that there is no clear distinction between him and Joselito Pepito Cayetano (he's plump, the dude's skeletal; he wears glasses, the dude wears shades; he's milk, the dude's chocolate), and doesn't seem to want to ensure his victory on his own merit but does so by moving to disqualify another candidate. News, it backfired, Allan Peter, because of you he got more media coverage than he should've. Wala lang.

I will not vote for Noynoy Aquino because I don't like him, again, by family association. I know his Dad's a hero and everything, but still. Until he and his family pay back all they did to the workers at Hacienda Luisita, until his mother admits to being doubly responsible for our national debt and the people killed at the Mendiola Massacre and until his sister shuts up once and for all, I will not vote for him.